Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
	For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
	while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

 

 

O my me my moe. Where do I start? This scripture just popped into my mind.  I haven't been diligent in the scriptures for awhile. And when I say awhile, I mean a long time, like maybe five years. So I went looking for the scripture. I knew that it was in one of Paul's letters to the Corinthians. The first page I turn to and it is sitting right in front of me.

So I'm Gonna start with my health. I 've been battling endometriosis for more than eight years if not longer. It has stolen my energy and more . I have often wondered   if God still loves me even though I cannot please  Him with my whole heart, mind soul, and strength. I try to get up early, spend time with the kids, and do all that a Christian is to do in order to please God. Every time I try I fail. I can hear voices of other Christians telling me right now that I am letting Satan beat me up, that I am to hard on myself, or that we can never earn Gods Love. And they are right. All of those thoughts of failer and fatigue, and performing,  are condemning thoughts that Satan likes to torment me with, along with fear and anxiety. But Perfect Love casts out all fear because fear involves torment. I do know that God loves me. Sometimes my faith is small and other times it is not. But I 've been asking God to reveal Himself to me in a more deeper way.

I keep thinking  I'm going to die soon. Endometriosis makes you feel that way sometimes because the pain is a secret pain. You can't see what's going on in your body but you sure can feel it. I wish that I could get up and run a marathon, swim laps, fly an airplane, or something athletic. I wish I was smart , or that I can be eloquent. There are lots of things that God has not called me to be. Sometimes I can't wait to get to heaven because this world is so ugly and there is so much heartache and pain. There are so many things that I look at in my own life and wonder.

The suffering and pain that I go through on this earth will never compare to the Glory and pain free life I will have in heaven.  This world and everything in it is TEMPORARY. Some people may think that they are going to live for ever, or for a long time. They think that their body will always stay young. But tomorrow is promised to no man. No one knows when they will die, young or old, rich or poor. Death is no respecter of persons. One out of every one persons die. Life is hard. We start to understand that as a simple child growing up. We see and go through things that hurt us, scare us, or make us question why we even exist.  God knows that this life is like a vapor in comparison to eternity. Eternity has no time limit. We live in the realm of time. It is a wise decision to make a choice of where we will spend eternity. We choose (which is a gift that God gives as he created us with a will, and not as robots) our destiny. We have the power of choice given to us to make the decision to even run our own lives. I would rather submit and yield it over to the one who holds time and space in His hands. I would rather chose Him. I may not be able to see the future. But I am sure glad that I know the one who holds the future. All things where created through Jesus and for Jesus. So therefore I am trusting God that even though my life is not all peaches and cream, a bed of roses, or fine and dandy, that He is in control and on the throne. He helps me to be still,  and just simply Know that He is GOD.

 

Our spiritual conflicts are among our most wonderful blessings, and the adversary is used to train us for his own ultimit defeat. L.B. Cowman -STREAMS IN THE DESERT.

 

  

I agree with Betty, this is a great entry and it is so weird that a majority of it was typed as if you tapped into my own life.  I am convinced that I have endo. even though I still haven't been diagnosed but that's also another one of those things where I know that God is so in control that He has the power to heal and to transform yet if He hasn'tyet then  there is a reason for His timing for our faith to be challenged and our character to be tried and to iron out our doubt while the enemy never ceases to slumber, as for God His way is perfect and not our way as we have a natural tendency to figure  things out on our own, begin our day without Him, blame Him rather than  ourselves, try to  resolve our problems before we wait on Him and His answer.  There isn't a year that goes by where I will not have problems whether it's finances, health, children, spiritual walk, difficult people, etc. etc.  Nobody is exempt, hardship can  be a blessing if it drives you into a deeper relationship with Him, and teaches you to be grateful.  When ever I feel like I know what I'm talking about I know I better prepare myself for the unexpected that may give me the test of a lifetime, the thing that I dread the most, but when it comes I will pray and have to deal with it because it will be my problem or thorn or burden, I am so glad that I have a knowledge of the truth, I had an opportunity to choose and I accepted, now I have greater responsibilities yet purpose.  He will never give me more than what I can handle.  And what would we do without the Bible?  We have it now as others in some countries it is a crime.  I pray that He gives us the strength and wisdom and fill us to overflowing with His Holy Spirit to be blameless and holy and pleasing in His sight made complete through Jesus as we live out our last days in these last days and until then come quickly Lord Jesus in His name AMEN!

Love, Issie