All New

This is all to new for me. My e-mail is not user friendly at all, and has no cool affects. I like the fact that Blogger has allot more that you can do to your journal than AOL. But it is going to take some getting used to.Last night I was tossing and turning after the Lord was strongly speaking to my heart about becoming a more gentle mother. Last week I had prayed with a lady named Martha from my new Bible Study (which I am very excited to be in). She is the one I was pared up with that will be praying for me this week as I am praying for her. I specifically asked that she keep me in prayer about becoming a more gentle and loving mother. I didn't realize that my prayers were being answered until last night. I keep recognizing every little sign that the Lord is speaking to me. When my friend Laura came over to help me with the set up of my blog, I realized that I was very firm with my kids in front of her. Not that she noticed, but because she was a guest, I happened to notice it for myself a little more than if no one was around. Then last night I started reading a book that my friend Rebbecca gave to me a couple of days ago. It 's called The Mission Of Motherhood, By: Sally Clarkson (one of my favorite authors). I read a little bit of the introduction and was so pierced that I had to put it down for the night and just simply start to pray for forgiveness and help. The book intales a fresh vision for Motherhood. I can't wait to read through this book. Hopefully I can get through it. I am halfway through every book I have.Another person that God was using to speak to me is a sweet lady from our home school leadership named Penny. I was sharing with her a bit of my concerns as I continue on this journey for the coming year. She reassured me that if I focus on enjoying my children rather than putting unreasonable expectations on them, then I will never look back a regret the time spent with my children. She explained how important it was to develop an atmosphere of love and life learning in the home rather than demanding tedious bookwork for eight hours sitting down, repetitiously killing the fun of learning out of them. I remember so well my own school experience. Calvin was just interviewing me for his history subject and one of the questions was, "What did you like most about school"? It is sad to say that I had nothing positive to share with him. I didn't have any teachers that impacted me for the greater good. But I have to stop short to say that the greatest influence for the good of learning was my mom and dad. They taught me allot. I just called my mom up Thursday to ask her how to make a killer stew. It came out yummy. I always call up my dad for maintenance advice on the apartment or for the cars. I understand that my parents were not perfect, but I am more mature now then when I was a teen and early twenties. I now realize that my bitterness towards anything that they failed in the past was nothing but a judgemental, selfish lack of love and appreciation for sacrificing everyday of their lives to keep food on the table and the family together. My parents have worked harder than any two people I know besides my husband. I have all of the stories to prove it. My mom now takes care of a lady that is 102, and cleans houses for the elderly. And she loves it. I could never do that. I remember her staying up with me all hours of the night helping me with my homework and being involved with my schools.No parent is perfect. But we can strive to know the Lord who will make us better parents for His Glory and not our own.